Fear

Yesterday, at church our pastor spoke about Hebrews 13:5-8.

Within that sermon he mentioned how one of the biggest reasons that we do not share our faith is because we are afraid. Afraid of what people might say or what they might think of us. Fear, it stops us from doing SO many things. I know a lot about fear. If I examine it I am afraid of an awful lot of things. One of my biggest fears is that I will lose my family. I think since I do not have any relatives of my own, having lost most of them due to one reason or another, that losing someone that I do have is fearful to me. I am afraid to lose friends and get jealous if they spend more time with other people because I have a sense that I might lose them. I am afraid of losing my son because I have based most of my life on him and our bond goes very deep, and he is the reason for most of my decisions.

Another fear is of losing anything personal, because I have lost so many things in the past that were valuable to me. Yet another fear is when I drive. I have had so many car accidents that it is a surprise to me that I even get in my truck. I have learned to control this one, most of the time, due to necessity. However, every once in awhile I get that adrenaline of fear as I am cruising down the road.

I wouldn’t say that I am crippled by these fears, but I guess that I am. I try not to let them get the better of me, but I guess that even the smallest of these fears is one to many. It is partially a control issue; partially a trust issue and I guess mainly a lack of faith.

That brings me back to church. Pastor mentioned lack of faith. That we don’t trust the Lord enough to let go, we want to be in control and think that we can do it better or have a better plan. As If! I mean I know this, I KNOW that there is NO way that my plan is better and yet I am a persistent little thing. Don’t get me wrong I am not a quivering mass and have come a long way on my path and with my walk. BUT, I know I could do better. I could let go. To be honest I have over the years gradually. I think mainly because I knew I had no choice in the matter. I have been on the floor and have just turned things over to God, knowing that I just could not do it. I don’t think I do this enough though. Thus the whole having fear thing.

Going back to sharing faith, I do have fear there. I work in a government office and have often listened to conversations about many things that are contrary to my faith as well as criticisms of faith based people or opinions. I don’t participate in those conversations, mainly because I want to avoid certain situations and arguments. Fear, path of lest resistance, same thing.

“The Lord is my helper;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?”

The pastor made several slap in the head points, also known as light bulb moments. Unless you know God, TRULY know him, at the end of days he will say to you "I knew ye not". Fear or excuses will not bring "job well done". But what can man do to me? Is it worth it? A resounding YES. No matter the outcome of facing my fear, on not giving in to it, I will live with Christ as he is always with and in me. That help is there to help me face my fears. That help is there for everyone, that hope, that trust is offered to everyone. I just need to step forward and receive it.