Whispers

Well the whispers have begun again in our office. The managers are meeting and the tension in the office can be cut with a knife. They are meeting to cut more positions and to lay off more people. Within the last few days my manager has been meeting with our directors and things have been overheard. In all fairness I wish they would just close their doors but they don’t. It kind of makes you think that they don’t care who knows that they are meeting. There is just no empathy for the employees. Anyway, things have been overheard. Things like salary cuts and eliminating positions. Since our boss is the one that seems to be having the most meetings with the directors we are all very worried. Because of the fibro I can feel each and every muscle. Each muscle seems to shout out each concern.

So I was in my office and one of the recently laid off people came to see me. (She is working out the rest of the month). I am comforted at her look at the whole lay off situation. Her faith is very strong. She looks at it as a door closing and that God will open another. I sadly am having trouble looking at it that way. I am trying but emotionally I think I am very raw right now. I’m not so sure that if I were to be laid off I would be able to be as brave or even have that kind of faith.

Do I believe that God loves me? Absolutely. Do I believe that God wants what is best for me? Absolutely. Do I trust Him? Absolutely. I am letting the devil have victory by me stressing about this and beginning to panic? Unfortunately the answer is yes. Those whispers are stronger than the ones coming out of the managers office.

I have been reminded twice today to be strong and have faith. That All things are for His Glory. Now if only I could get that engraved into my little head. I am again reminded of my dream regarding putting on the Armor of God.

I am being tested and I do not think I am doing that well. I am averaging a D right now and what I really want is an A. All I can do is go back to the book and study.

The Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-20)
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.