When I was a little girl I used to play with my dad after he came home from work. We would play restaurant - I was the waitress and I would bring him plates of imagined food and drink. Or we would play shopping or some other made up game. I knew I was loved especially after we did Eskimo kissing. As I grew up and my mom and dad separated I was told some things that made me turn from my dad - things like he never wanted me and other stuff. Becoming a teenager didn't really help either. I was not respectful and well was plain nasty at times. He of course responded in kind and we began 15 years of not getting along. Six months after my mom died my dad became very ill. By the time I was told he was in the hospital he was very sick. I went to visit him in the hospital and I talked because he wasn't able to and I told him I was sorry and that I loved him. His eyes became wide and I knew it was going to be ok. He died that night. My memories of my dad are totally of the good times and my heart warms whenever I think of our Eskimo kisses.
When my son was born I so wanted his dad to have the perfect relationship with him. I criticized a lot because I didn't want my son to be hurt or disappointed like I was. I was very neurotic about it. It took years for me to realize that no father or mother was perfect and as long as you tried your very best things worked out. It was something that I had to let go. I prayed for a father for Patrick and somehow without realizing it found that we had one. He wasn't perfect and was different than what I thought I wanted or Patrick needed, but he is a good father and has really come a long way. He loves Patrick very much and that shows in many ways.
No dad or mom is perfect but I think God has placed us with the child that he wants us to raise. My husband is not perfect but he is a great dad, he takes care of Patrick when he is sick, he plays with him and they wrestle. They talk computers and games and other things. Michael is the father that I wanted him to be - it just took me awhile to realize it.
Happy Father's Day!
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