Beyond Myself

"The flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh, for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please." (Galatians 5:17 NIV)

This is so true. Especially in me. Daily my flesh has a desire all its own to do what it wants to do. Whether it has to do with anger, pride, selfishness, stubbornness, depression or anything else. This is especially true in times of need or crisis. I can be so in control and have such a christian demeanor then WHAM I get this totally separate personality that is SO not in control. It is a daily struggle. Some days are really good and I thank the Lord for those days. Then some days I can not keep my mouth shut and can not seem to control my whole attitude, brain mass, whatever...

Before I was a christian this was something that was every day. But it didn't bother me and I didn't really care if I went off on people or had an attitude. I was basically unhappy and didn't care if I made other people unhappy or what other people thought. But since becoming a christian, the Spirit convicts me that I am wrong and that I should behave better. Constant struggle. I may want to go ballistic on someone or have road rage or be all fleshy but I can't and I shouldn't. Constant Struggle! I need to honor God and obey the Spirit. CONSTANT STRUGGLE.

Whether it be a bad habit, grumpiness or something else - what does a person do if they are in a constant struggle with their flesh? Well I can only say what I do. I apologize - not only to God for behaving that way but also to the person(s) that I may have spouted off too. I also pray. I don't want to act like that and I know God doesn't want me to act like that so I pray for forgiveness as well as for help in controlling my mouth, temper or overall brain. A lot has to do with self-control and sometimes I have none and sometimes I ignore it and let it go. Again I say constant struggle. Especially for me. I have to remind myself daily (and sometimes multiple times a day) that even though I am strong willed and may even be in the right, that does not give me the right to act that way. Excuses or no excuses - I have to look beyond myself and reach out to the Spirit and let it take over. Otherwise I would and could do some real damage. It's not just about knowing better or taking the high road, it's about doing what I know I should and what God expects of me as his child. I may have the right to go off on tangents and express my anger but that does not mean that I should. At every moment I need to act like the child that I know I should be, that God wants me to be. Not only as an example but as part of the being saved (and knowing better) group.

Constant Struggle!