Lost

I am in a place that I have no idea where I am or how I got here. All I know is that I don't like it. I don't like the way I feel, I don't like anything about this place. It's dark and ugly and I feel terrible. It's not like a pit, I've been in one of those before. I can always seem to climb out of those. This is different. This is like being totally isolated, totally on an island. I think this is what it must be like for prisoners that are in solitary. Not that I'm alone, I know I'm not. But I feel like such a disappointment, such a let down in every way. I feel as far away as possible. I have knowledge, I have awareness, but not closeness.

I have gone so far away, I have slowly walked in a total opposite direction without really knowing that I was doing that. I'm here and am not quite sure how I got here or why. I remember the path and I remember walking but it all seems like a dream. Why would I follow this path, did I know I was following this path? Had I known I would get this lost? Would I have tried to stop myself? Why was I not paying attention? Where exactly was my mind? My heart?

How do I get back? How do I become that prodigal that returns? How and where do I find the strength to do that? Lost, how do you find you way home? Can you even get home? How to begin, where to start? Fallen, how to you get back on? Can you get back on track once you've been lost? Is it to late?